Friday, August 20, 2010

She came back!!!

If you are a boy, man or specie with male parts, please scroll to the next post unless you aspire to become female. This post will either freak you out or make you sick, so do yourself a favour and move along.

So I have been bragging for the past 16 months that Aunt Flo has decided to give me and axteneded holiday since I was pregnant for 9 months and have been exclusivelly breast feeding for the past 7 months.
Just two days ago I was talking about how great it has been to not have to worry about damage controll and the terrible cramps that accompany her.

Aunt Flo and I have a very bad relationship since our very first meeting at the tender age of 11. I had already gotten educated about it at school but did not realise that it would eventually happen to me.
I remember waking up that morning and went to the loo, when I wiped, what I saw made me want to faint.
I was bleeding in a place where there has never and was never supposed to be blood. I was surelly dieing!!
I called my mom and she came to check what was going on. I quetly whispered "There is blood in my panties", and I saw relief in her face. Being old school about these things she took me into my room and said " You have gotten you period, here is a sanitary pad, put it in your panty and dont tell anybody especially the boys about what happened" .

I dilligently listened to my mothers words and did not utter this information to a soul, even when I was sitting in the science class and it felt like someone was stabbing me in my stomach. I had never heard that Aunt Flo also came with a pain very similar to labour. I sat in the class and held my breath until I could not take it anymore. I eventually confided in a female teacher who sent me to get some pain killers and all was good until night fell. For some reason Aunt Flo really favours the sun. When it got dark her horns came out and I was crying in utter pain from the cramping. I was hoping that it was just a once off but she had planned our future together. Every month for the next 13 years, she would visit with her agonising punches to my womb and I had to sercumb to her evil.

Well the last 16 Months without her was pure bliss and I embraced her absence. Well it could only last for SO long. I have been back at work for the past 4 months now and have expressed less and less since A has started on solids. I knew that this was most likely going to bring dear Aunt Flo back but never paid it no mind. The only thing I was concerned about is that when she did come back (in 2020), it would be with a vengance as other Post Partum mothers had said to me.

So this morning when she made her comeback, it was quite subtle. No stabbing pain or even a warning. Things have gone well all day thus far and we seem to be handling each other well. But then again, the sun is still up.

So now the count down for evening to fall has begun. Will Aunt Flo reveal her evil hand or has she come in peace this time.

"Please can we start a new and fresh (painless) relationship this time. Pretty Please"

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