Monday, July 7, 2014

Mommy growing up

I have been mother for almost 8 years now and even knowing all I know and all I have learned throughout the years, it never gets easier when you have to return to work.

Baby A, my mini giant baby was born 2 and a half short months ago and the closer I get to having to leave him and return to the working world, the sadder I feel. 

I must admit, my eldest was my unplanned c section baby and a little colicy, I could not wait to go back to the working world, mostly because I had no adult communication for most of the first 6 months of his life. Being the extroverted ADD alien that I am, I felt starved from the outside world and any real human interaction. The older I get though, I realize that I will not have much time with my kids and the first few months are so important.

A melts my heart every time in look at him, I smell his hair every time I hold him and I probably kiss him 100 times a day. I am sooo in love that it is unreal. I don't remember being this emotional with any of my other babies.

Don't get me wrong, I love my kids with all I have, but somehow, knowing that I will have no more has just made me look closer at A. Perhaps my subconscious wants to remember every moment of having a new baby or my heart just won't accept that this is the end.... A little dramatic, I know.

I guess I have to start convincing myself that being a mommy means that you have to adjust to all of the "ends" that happen as your kids grow.

So in my future lay another first day back at work, being reminded of my baby every time my breasts fill with milk throughout the day. When J, My 2 year old figures out that he is a boy and is different than I. My 4 year old A going to big school in 2015 and my 7 year old losing all of the teeth he currently has.

All these signs of growing kids but also growing mommy too... 

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