Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Mommy, is Blue for Boys or Girls?

Its been a While that I have blogged since finding time in my day to post has become very difficult.
I am however going to make a concerted effort to try and blog from now on.

There are so many things been happening in our society and in my life personally that I need to reflect and keep track of them somehow... so hopefully I can use this platform as sort of my online diary. The only difference is that nothing will really be secret, as if I can keep any secrets...

I have had a topic I have wanted to blog about for a few weeks now. My second eldest son, J, turned three years old in September 2014 and as time has passed since his third birthday, he has become more and more particular about what and how he likes things to be done. I don't necessarily mind the fact that he wants to do everything on his own, accept of course when I am very late. Keep in mind that being late is a classic ADD characteristic, so I am always VERY late.

In Any case, he wants to be independent all of the time, but at the same time wants to be treated as my baby. A very precise baby. For example, at bed time, he needs to have a glass of water and be tucked in just right before he will consider sleep. He also demands an apology after he has been disciplined as, according to him, you also need to repent for bad behavior.

As all this will seem funny and cute in a few years I am sure, there is one more interesting attribute that has come with him turning three. He asks an awful lot about his sexuality. This is normal for most children his age, but he has taken things a step further. J wants to link everything he does, eats or even plays with, with either boys or girls. He asks at least 10 times a day if a certain activity or color is associated with girls or boys. In recent weeks he has started wearing one of my dish clothes on his head and says its his hair, and just this past weekend, he decided that trying on mommies makeup was a fun activity. Although none of this bothers me at all, my very conservative husband and a few other men I have spoken to, don't particularly approve of this behavior for 'boys'.

All of these things made me wonder, is this the point where little boys find their sexual identity and how much external influence actually contributes to what they grow up as?
J seems very sensitive about this topic at the moment and his dad has gladly stepped back and not given him any impression that his behavior is 'bad'.
I personally believe that young boys identify as gay by their circumstances as children and I can imagine what my son would think if the only man he looks up to scolded him or disciplined him for his behavior.

I don't think being gay is a bad or ugly thing. God is love and love takes many forms. I do however agree that the Bible is very clear about the topic and will base my belief system on that without judgment. So of course, I would prefer my sons get involved in heterosexual relationships as God intended. And if they choose not to, I will love them the same way as a parent should.

I am however being cautious with my approach to J's questions and behaviors, because as with everything we do to and for our children, anything I do or say could Change his Destiny forever.


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