NO Body Shame... SHAME... SHEM

I am totally a sucker for reality TV. I recorded all of the last season of the Braxtion’s Family Values and I cannot wait for The Real Housewivesof Atlanta to return for another season of Drama. The Reality Series I tend to watch the most though has to feature some element of body weight issues. So I guess my Television watching already says a lot about me, I am drawn to drama and my weight is the only relationship I have never had to break with.

So there is this show on TLC called ‘My Big Fat Fabulous Life’ and I watch it because I am fascinated by Whitney’s ability to be comfortable in her skin. She just does her thing even if she gets judged. I am holding thumbs that she will fall hopelessly in love and settle down, to live life as normal just with a little bit of extra weight.

Whitney has started the No Body Shame (#noBS) fad, which I am sure, is going to be a smash hit with the young ladies already struggling with weight issues in primary school.

But for me, it’s far to fat, late for that.

My body and I, We may not love each other a whole lot at the moment, but we do have one love in common, CAKE! I mean, when someone says that they can’t stand cake, I go into a no sugar coma on their behalf. Even after having a tonsillectomy earlier this year that I still have not fully recovered from yet, I could still eat a cream donut every single day without wasting a crumb. The sweetness, and creamy texture and….mmm….. ahem…..

Anyway, the one mistake I made when I decided to throw all my inhibitions to the wind is not stopping to have a talk with my body to find out that, although we may both love cake, it would actually just like to rather have a salad, to kind of like, you know, keep it healthy and fit and stuff. It kept trying to tell me, but I ignored it and now, a few months down the line, I have finally hit the 100KG, yes, 100KG mark!!!!!

My mother just screamed at her computer screen reading that…hahahaha!!

My body is ashamed, oh so ashamed of my abuse of its loyalty. And it reminds me every time I bend over to see my hoo haa, I mean feet, that they have disappeared under the mountain shaped roll of lard I have sticking out of my Maternity top. It reminds me when NOT EVEN my old faithful (and for fat emergencies) mom jeans will fit over my hips! My Body is ashamed of the daily choice I make to fill my cup of coffee with more sugar than coffee and with the loads of potatoes I expect it to hold on a weekly basis.

If only my mind was as ashamed as my body…..

I now know, that things have gotten a wee bit out of control. Every person congratulating me on being pregnant for the 5th time, even though my tubes were tied, almost makes me want to put away the chocolate I just opened. I have steadily gained 10kg over the course of the past two months and I can’t keep blaming my once gullible hubby for my weight gain anymore, he is starting to realize its not really his fault…

So I am going to embarrass myself here, well because I think I am the only one who reads my posts anyway, so nobody is really going to see my body’s shame; and because maybe, just maybe, seeing how it looks on the screen will make my mind ashamed enough to change.

So here are my extremely accurate and Scientific measurements which I will try (don’t forget I have ADD neh) truly try to post new and hopefully happier body images of my flubber body pieces every week :

The Arm Measurement, Precisely measured between the thumb and index finger

The Belly Measurement, so Accurate is the soft tissues and fats measured between the fingers
Also taking note of the child bearing scars that still exist not the surface

The Thigh measurement, So similar but yet so different from the Belly measurement.

By the way, I will be doing THIS high protein German diet thing for two weeks (and will most likely cheat) and then will refer back to Banting which helped me lose a TON (get it) last year. I will speed walk whenever I can, because running is for thin people, and swim when, hell I don’t know when.

Everything in moderation So they say…. I still don’t know them.

Mwah!