Friday, September 3, 2010

Childhood, I mean Adult Fears

When I read Mama Kat's Writers Workshop Prompts this week, I considered each one carefully and actually chose the easiest one to write. But as I read the posts from other bloggers, I kept coming across posts of childhood fears, and realized that writing about that would have been easier since I still have those same fears today.

When I was about 5 years old, I was deathly afraid of the dark. There would be shadows moving  from the tree outside the window and  the wardrobes that stood tall in my room. I used to hide my head under the sheets and will my fears away for that night, only for them to return the following night (WITH A HUGE AXE!)

I used to climb a lot when I was young too. My ultimate favourite things to climb were trees and the roof of our house. My mom did not mind but my grandad would freak out when he found me on the roof. I loved it so much that I would encourage my "girly" cousins to climb the roof, much to my mothers dismay.

Unfortunately I am no longer that free spirited child and only climb as high as my shaky hands will let me. For some reason over the years I have developed a debilitating fear of heights. Not having control over a free fall really terrifies me. I don't stand at the edge of balconies and I definitely don't peak my head out of high windows. I mean, what if a wind suddenly blows, pushing me out of the window and I fall a million feet to my untimely and certain DEATH!  The same goes for glass floors and huge glass windows on the 3rd floor of a building.

A few months ago we went on vacation to Durban where there are beach front rides. One of the rides is a cable car that takes you up to see the city and the ocean and back down again. Hubby asked me if I wanted to go on it and I said yes without realizing what he was talking about. I was too busy paying attention to a very exited L. I wish now that I had listened. We sat on the ride and when we started moving I just wanted to die!!! ( getting dizzy while writing this ) I could not get a grip of myself. I closed my eyes and prayed for it all to end!!! To make matters worse, L kept moving the seat which made us dangle in the air. I WAS FREAKING OUT and kept yelling at hubby to hold the baby tighter because she was going to fall to her death at any second!!! The fact that I could not control my environment and the weightlessness was too much to handle; and I think I even started to cry at one stage. Hubby and L found all this very amusing, I must add.
When the ride was finally over, I could not describe the sense of relief I felt when my feet touched the ground.
And he wants us to fly to Cape Town in December...Bleh...No way in hell!

Finally there is one fear that just gives me the creeps. In 7th grade we went on a school camp which was one of the best camps I had ever gone to ( I have gone on a lot). We learnt so much and went hiking up a mountain (before I was afraid of There was a reservoir and a river that crossed through the camp site that we could swim in. We opted to swim in the reservoir and had a lot of fun, but what we did not know was that there were leeches in the water. I got out of the water after about a half hour and could not understand why my finger was burning so badly. There was a small hole in it and then I realized that a leech had attached itself to my finger. I was so grossed out and wondered what else could have been in that water that we could not see. Now I will never swim in murky water no matter what! I hate that fact that there could be anything in the bottom that could INGEST me for all I know. I love the beach but don't go to far in because the darker the water becomes, the more likely a SHARK is going to eat me ALIVE. I am so afraid of not knowing what lurks in the water that I refuse to swim in the pool at night. I am even afraid of the Kreapy Krawly pool cleaner for Pete Sake!!!   IT COULD JUST SUCK ME IN YOU KNOW!!

Yes I know, I am a weirdo. There are some fears that really seem irrational, but I just cant shake these, no matter how hard I try. I certainly hope I don't pass them on to my kids, but sadly, it seems it might be already to late for L.

I guess then it is a good thing we don't fly to work, yet, have clean water come out of the tap and have light bulbs - or else I would become a HERMIT!!


ElizOF said...

Your fears were very interesting as I can relate to the leech story becsuse I don't like going into murky water either. It was fascinating to read about your fear of glass windows as I've never heard of that fear. Good job!
Visiting from my Wordpress blog and glad to have stopped by to support you as a member of MamaKat's Writer's Workshop assignment for the week.

Rhonda said...

I found this so fascinating because I have a HUGE fear of heights and leeches! I had to a leech off of my son this summer and I simply thought I was going to die!!