Bespoke

Hubby and I love comedy; we take every opportunity to watch it. Since hubby decided that we were going to have date night last night, there was nothing more fitting than going to see a comedy show. I scrolled through Computicket in the middle of my day yesterday and struck it gold, to me at least.

We went to see Stuart Taylor’s show, Bespoke, at Monte Casino. I literally laughed myself out of my seat a couple of times. He was funny, of course and since I have watched his DVD before, I knew we would have a good time. The reason he was so absolutely hilarious though was because he spoke about a topic that we discuss in my home almost daily.

South Africans all know all too well about the color lines that exist here. Apartheid was based on it and though a little more subtle these days, the separation between our races is still very much alive.

I identify as a colored person. Someone who is of mixed race. Although I am a second generation colored who was born and bred by colored parents.  Most of everyone I am related to is colored themselves. The thing I think that people outside our race don’t realize about colored people though is that we a segregated too. We don’t all fit under the same umbrella, which I assume people of other races may think.

Let me explain:

My Dad is a Cape Colored, Married to an Mpumalanga Colored who lived in Johannesburg. My sister and I grew up in a colored township with our parents… BUT…. We are classified as white coloreds….. yes…. WHITE COLOUREDS.

Neither I nor my sister are very light in complexion, but because we went to private schools, and were taught by white teachers, we are not classed as the same kind of coloreds that lived next door and went to the local schools.

Then we have the Black coloreds, who have the boyfriend from Soweto and can talk Zulu and Sotho fluently, but were raised, in Eldorado Park, which happens to be situated right next to Soweto.

Finally, there are the colored coloreds. They have colored parents and grew up in the colored township’s, Who, coincidentally are the ones who made these rules because they are the Original, untainted breed of colored.  As if there is such a thing.

I mean, lets be realistic. The reason why South African Mixed race people are called colored is because we fall on every side of the spectrum. We have taken bits from every race, mixed them, mingled them and colored them in a little, and then just called it a colored thing. Curry, being the perfect example, and that did not even come from a white or black culture.

What is colored culture? Everything South Africa is made of,  beaten in a mixing bowl and patented under the colored brand. It’s a phenomenal talent I tell you.

Us well spoken colored’s are however very harshly judged because we say Lord instead of Jirrre and Daddy instead of Deddy, so we move out of the townships in to the Suburbs to be around white and black people who wont judge us. Instead, and this is a true story, it turns out that we have turned the Burbs into the next colored township because there now far more colored people living here than when we moved in two years ago.

At least there is a good thing that comes with being my kind of colored, I can be scared half to death of someone but can frighten them into submission with three simple words…

Ek sal jou M…….

Catch Bespoke by Stuart Taylor at Monte Casino until 1st of November.

Mwah